Nobody warns you about the birthday circle.
The €0.50 Tikkie. The birthday calendar in the toilet. Dutch directness at 9 a.m. — Almost Dutch teaches you the unwritten rules of Dutch culture through hilarious real-life scenarios. And yes, there's a genuine explanation under every joke.
Sound familiar yet?
One of the 150 real-life situations you'll learn to survive:
A colleague grabs you a coffee from the office vending machine. That evening you receive a payment request: €0.50. You…
Which one is right, and why? That's in the app. Every scenario ends with "Even serieus" — the genuine cultural explanation.
How it works
Learn Dutch customs, etiquette and culture — one awkward moment at a time.
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Play real scenarios
Pick your response to true-to-life Dutch situations, from the vrijmibo to the huisarts. 150 scenarios across 10 themed worlds.
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Get the real explanation
Every joke ends with "Even serieus" — the genuine cultural context, so you actually understand why the Dutch do what they do.
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Watch your Dutchness rise
Earn your Dutchness percentage, world by world, and share your score with friends who think they already know.
Three worlds free, in your browser
Start with the three most painfully recognisable ones. 45 scenarios, no account needed.
Works on your phone, right now. No download, no sign-up.
Seven more worlds come with the app:
- Bikes & Traffic
- Neighbours & Home
- Weather & Small Talk
- Food & Borrel
- Holidays & King's Day
- Healthcare & Bureaucracy
- Language & Expressions
On the App Store and Google Play
Three worlds free, the other seven for one payment of €12.99. No subscription, no account, no ads.
Questions, answered directly
It's the Dutch way, after all.
What is Almost Dutch?
A playful app that teaches you the unwritten rules of Dutch culture through 150 real-life scenarios — the birthday circle, Dutch directness, the agenda cult. Made for expats and internationals in the Netherlands.
Is it free?
Three full worlds (45 scenarios) are free forever — no account, no ads, no tricks. The other seven worlds unlock with one payment of €12.99 in the app, via the App Store or Google Play.
What about my data?
Privacy-first, genuinely: this site and the browser version ask for nothing — no account, no email address, no cookies or analytics, no tracking. The app works the same way: no account, no tracking, and the one purchase goes through the App Store or Google Play. The details are in the privacy policy; that's the whole story, more or less.
Where can I get it?
On iPhone via the App Store, on Android via Google Play — both live now. Not ready to install anything? The three free worlds run in your browser too.